Pressure!!

This post is way overdue.
Post is based on a true story.
Names shall not be revealed.

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Pressure

I jerked up from bed.
Relieved it was just a dream, I slouched and rested my arms on my knees.
For the third time this week, I find myself drenched in cold sweat.

It all dates back to that dreadful day.
They call that place Top Hill.
I call it the Devil's Lair.

Till this day, I still wonder how I let Daryl and Heng Zoe manipulate me against my will to participate in their little game of 'Hell on Earth'.
They promised me a day of bonding with mother nature.
They were only half right. (You'll get this later)
I have yet to learn that promises turn into stories, stories into legends and legends into myths.

I reluctantly agreed to go on their hiking expedition at Top Hill.
We arranged to meet at a designated coffee shop for a little breakfast before our hike.
Thinking back, I recall Daryl and Zoe stuffing me silly with sticky glutinous rice and some milky chocolate drink.
I thought it must have been customary to fuel up before the hike.

After some meaningless chit chat, we adjourned to Top Hill for our dose of Mother Nature.
Daryl who played leader in our little escapade guided us through thick greens and wet soil.
I soon discovered that I wasn't a nature boy.
It amazes me how some people have grown to love getting their ankles dipped in muddy terrain, getting pierced in the arm by wild thorns or having bugs crawling on their bare skin.

Twenty minutes into the hike and I started to feel a little queezy on the inside.
Twenty five minutes later and Daryl announces that we were officially lost.
Thirty five minutes into the hike and my face was pale and my knees were turning into jello.

I have been through all sorts of situations in my life but none more physically and emotionally trying as this.
Reminisce of that incident still sends shivers down my spine.
The feeling is somewhat similar to being held against your will in a God forsaken wilderness while men clad in skinny jeans incessantly blares malay rock ballads into your ears.

I was feeling all of that in my rear end.
While Daryl and Zoe were having the time of their life trekking in front of me, I paced slowly behind, careful to not aggravate any sudden bowel movements.
I knew it was only a matter of time before I succumbed to pressure.

I stealthily alienated myself from the group to a secluded part of the forest.
I relieved myself of clothing and let nature have its way with me.
I had hoped that Daryl and Zoe would not notice my absence but I was dead wrong.
They started shouting my name in a PUBLICLY ACCESSIBLE place.
I sighed at my misfortune.
That was about all I could do.


Before they stumbled on my hideaway spot, I revealed my location to warn them of the demonic sights they would encounter should they succeed in locating me.
They were not hindered by such warnings and offered assistance in the form of dry leaves and Zoe's spare T'shirt.

I screamed with panic for them to keep their distance.
I somehow knew they would come armed with digital cameras should they find me.

"Get AWAY from me!! I am fine and can find my own stuff to clean myself!! JUST KEEP AWAY!!!"

By this time, I was almost done with the exorcism ritual and just had to keep them at bay.
They were somehow unconvinced that I was fully capable of cleaning up after my own acts and insisted they bring some leaves and a tshirt.

"GET AWAY GUYS!!! I MEAN IT!! I CAN CLEAN MYSELF!! LEAVE ME ALONNEEEE!!!"

I don't know why, but they found it very amusing to have a friend begging for his innocence to be left protected.
At least it bought me time to clean up and get dressed.

I walked out to the trail a new man.
It felt like all the hurt, pain and shame had been stripped away.
I walked into Daryl, Zoe and their inquisitive eyes.
They were eager to know how I managed to clean myself after such an incident.

Zoe curiously scanned me from head to toe and asked me a question that would forever tarnish my image.

"Sak Ting, Weren't you wearing socks before this?"

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Its a crappy post.
I know.
But I'm fresh out of ideas, heard of this story recently and I suck.
Hopefully I don't suck as much for the next post.