The accident

With much joy, i am introducing two new writers to our little group.
They are,

James Low and Crystal Cha

Welcome to the losers circle.

There is a common blog moderated by Jean, so do refer to that blog for err, other stuff.

Click here for the common blog

----------------------------------------

I understand this write in can come across as cheesy, corny and predictable,
but this is my interpretation of a woman's point of view.
I live with 2 of them, so I hope I get it right.

----------------------------------------

The Accident

My blood shot eyes stared across the room.
He sat in the corner.
Quiet and reserved, he gazed out the window like little puppies do when expecting their masters arrival.

I called out his name softly.
He didn't budge.
I called him three more times but he was too obsessed with sticking his face to the window.
I was beginning to think that there were little fairies sprinkling magic dust on the lawn to turn grass into exotic dancers.

"ROBERT!!" I yelled.

He nonchalantly turned his gaze from the window to me.
That little creep!! He leaves me to be a walking elephant for the coming nine months and he acts like I'm the deranged lunatic.
I threw the pregnancy sticks at him and wished it hit him in his face rather than to fall three feet from him.

"What are we going to do now?" The words poured out in accordance with my tears.

"I told you, we have options that we can consider but..

"I am NOT aborting this baby!!"

"Think this through. We still have our whole lives ahead of us. Don't blow it all away coz of this little accident."

"This little 'accident' is my baby. I need to know where you stand on this. Are you in this with me or not?"

The silence that followed was deafening.
We exchanged stares for what seemed like eternity.
The last sound i remembered was an intrusion of noise from the bell chimes of the paper boy.
He bowed his head and solemnly fixed his eyes on his folded arms.
I knew what that meant.

With courage and poise, I walked out that door.
He didn't even try to stop me.
I made sure I had my back against him as i walked out.
I didn't want him to see the tears that streamed down my cheeks.

Three months flew by and I managed well if not better without a whiny pathetic male in my life.
I had the support of my parents and friends and I was going to raise this baby right.

If it is going to be a girl, I would teach her how the male species are from the devil and their only reason for existence was for hard manual labor and reproductive purposes.
If it is going to be a boy, I could dump him off a river to spare other girls the misery that I am forced to face.
Or i could teach him that girls are meant to be treated with respect and dignity and not objects for his sexual desire.

I had a hard time coping with the biological changes.
Somehow the thought of a living human inside of me conjured an image of a bloated cow.
It did help that I had a job and friday nights out with my friends.
Those were the times i could take my head off things and just let loose for a while.

There was this friday where my friends suggested that we hang out in a bar down avenue street.
The place was classy.
They had performances lined up for the whole night.
Mainly jazz bands, but there was a magic show that really stood out among the rest.

As usual, our little group got engrossed in some insignificant chatter on some Hollywood celebrity.
I loved these moments cause i could just space and let their inconsequential murmurs fade into background noise.

I was abruptly shaken from my daze when i heard 'Unchained Melody' being played.
After all it is my favorite song.
Instinctively I looked up stage and saw Robert on the piano.
He looked different.
He was clad in a white suit and black leather shoes.
His long brown hair trimmed and neatly combed in a sleek fashion.
I always told him that this is how a man should look like.

Although he played the song beautifully, his singing left much to be desired.
He ended the piece and took the stage with a microphone in hand.
He started off with one word.

"Julie."

I shot a glance at my friends.
They saw it coming and was his comrades in this little stunt he was going to pull.

"I know it's been a long time Julie, but i just want you to know that I have not gone a day without thinking of you."

Seriously, that is like the most cliched line on earth.

"I know you think that I'm crazy"

I swear, he is a mind reader.

"But I am a transformed man now. I realize how foolish I was to let you go. I have a stable job, a nice car and I bought a new house for us. For you, for me and for the baby."

He really did change.

"I made all those changes for you. I am owning up for my actions and I am going to take responsibility.
I vow to treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
To treasure every second I have with you.
To be at your side when you need me.
And to be the father of our child."

He was never really good with words and he still isn't.
But I was touched by his sincerity.

"I understand our little accident may have been rough for us, but that should not be deny you to this beautiful rite."

He got down on one knee and pulled out a little square box.

"Julie, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. To hold and nurture you till the day my fragile life gives way."

I could see what was coming.

"Will you marry me?"

The bar broke into rounds of applause.
I sat stunned in my seat.
I was overwhelmed by this sudden surge of mixed emotions that I really didn't know what to do.

The constant cheers of urging and support from the crowd was massive.
I picked up my courage and slowly made my way to the stage.
My eyes were tear filled and ready to explode.
I didn't know what to feel at that moment.

I walked up stage and our eyes met for the first time in months.
Our faces would have been closer but my bulging belly kept us at a distance.
The crowd was crazy and chanting "Yes" repetitively.

I could not think straight with all the noise and surging emotions.
I let my trembling lips part ways for a bit as tears began to stroll down my face.
I stuttered as I said,

"Y..." I mumbled.

The crowd cheered on.

I summoned every ounce of sanity still left inside me to finish the job.
I raised my hand up high and swung as hard as I could to slap him right in the face.

"YOU JERK!!" I yelled.

The same deafening silence when I first announced my pregnancy to Robert filled the bar.

"You think you can just walk into my life and act like everything's okay??!!"

I grabbed my handbag and stormed out the bar.
That felt good.
It felt really really good.
I should have done it a long time ago.

Lately, i find the little thrills in life slowly emerging from my mundane everyday routines.

For instance, did you know driving can be a very pleasurable experience?
Just as long as its not my old banged up car.

I even find walking on the road to be a pleasurable experience.
It may come across as absurd atrocity to some but I somehow find it calming.
To have my hollow head allowed to wander in an indefinite limit of dreams and imaginations is truly a satisfying experience.
Either that or its the intoxicating fumes that is getting to me.

But one of the little things that truly lights up my day is coming across a 'killer' line.
Its those kinda lines that really sticks.
There is really something empowering about these 'killer' lines that gives me a kick in life.

I came across one today.

"Never argue with an idiot, coz they will put you down to their level, and beat you with their experience!"

Classic.

In essence, never argue with me.
I may be beaten by your experience :P

I am hoping to hear the entry of more writers joining our humble group of writers.
Well, if all things go well I think each of the existing writers should post their links up?

Anyways, unlike Jean and Lydia who comes up with mega hard titles like "Smile like you mean it" lar, or "Holy Communion" lar I am simply all about simplicity.
This is also an effort to NOT scare away potential writers to join our little thing going on.

This months title is very general. I am sure most people will be pleased unless they are complex corrupted lawyers like Lydia who still uses xanga.
This months title is......

"The Accident"

I also understand that looking at a blog with just words can be rather inhumanely torturing.
But look at it this way, if a picture is worth a thousand words, then read a few entries and you will probably have seen a few pictures already.

Exams and assignments will be the death of me.
Anyways, as promised.

-----------------------------------------

Smile Like You Mean It

I have yet to discover the true essence of a smile.
What is a smile really?
To me, a smile is a facial distortion as a result of muscle contraction.
In my opinion, its just a physical act.
Sometimes with a degree of emotions involved but none the less, a physical act.

You see, the world or society as we regard it to be, has deemed this physical act as an interpretation of our emotional state.
It is assumed that there is an existing correlation between the contortion of the mouth with a favorable emotion.

Don't believe me?

Websters Revised Unabridged Dictionary defines a 'Smile' as:

"The act of smiling; a peculiar change or brightening of the face, which expresses pleasure, moderate joy, mirth, approbation, or kindness."

The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language defines a 'Smile' as:

"A facial expression characterized by an upward curving of the corners of the mouth and indicating pleasure, amusement, or derision."

By this definition, it is presumably safe to say that a smile defines or expresses joy.
We all know that is nothing more than imaginary fables.
Does this make the dictionary wrong?
Absolutely not!
In certain pretenses, a smile usually is an expression of happiness.
However, a smile can also take on a different form to express sarcasm, shrewd intentions and etc.
In all likelihood, a smile probably means that you're happy.
But the connection between a smile and emotions still goes unjustified.

I know what some of you guys are thinking.

"Sociopath!!"
or
"I think he needs help"
or
"Do all losers think this way?"
or
"Cheesecake is definitely overrated"

But before you pelt me with eggs, flour and durian tarts, let me present my point.
I am not denying that a smile is linked to our emotions.
I am trying to say that, it is not always the point.

If you are still reading, you are probably the 16% of readers that has not chosen to curse this blog to eternal damnation and close the web window.

Now back to my point.

Take for instance a scenario that many of you have been put in.
You meet this person for the first time.
Be it at weddings, parties or any other activity, you guys are total strangers who are introduced for the first time.
He or she then proceeds to extend his or her hands to offer a shake.
You reach out and accept that offer.
Now, most of the time the handshake is accompanied by 'smiles' by both sides.
I'm guessing it means to show that both parties are delighted at the new acquaintance.

It may or may not express how you feel, but in today's modern context of living, i say its a physical arc reflex.
Most of the time, you don't think!!
You just smile and shake that strangers hand.
Its how you were brought up, its polite, its manners, its shows sincerity and its just basically the right thing to do.

If you don't believe me, make a conscious effort NOT to smile the next time you are put in that situation.
By my guess, there should be some sort of awkward tension that fills the air after you pulled off that stint. You find some lame excuse to excuse yourself and walk away from the whole incident.

There are other examples.
You see the boss strolling through the halls.
Your eyes meet.
What do you do?
Do you pick your nose?
Do you punch yourself in the eye?
Do you punch your fist in the air and shout "DEATH TO MANKIND!!"
Do you?

NO!!
Unless you are mentally unstable like me.

Of all the actions you could choose to do in that scenario, you chose to smile.
You see, that smile just comes naturally.
Its second nature.
You don't even think it.
It just pounces on your facial muscles causing the corners of your mouth to curve up.
Sometimes you don't even know you're smiling.
Nobody blames you.
Its reflex.

If you are still reading this, you are probably 3% of the people who has lost the will to live and happened to stumble upon this blog.

Now, back to my point.

A true smile is pretty hard to come by these days.
If you ever have the misfortune of bumping into me with a smile.
Its probably just a reflex.
Why?

Its simply because of this.
About 2 months ago a group of people agreed to write stories or documentaries or anything to do with the given title or genre.
Once a month of course.
This months tittle happened to be
"Smile like you mean it"
I had a story all figured out this evening.
The plot, characters and the whole works.

It was supposed to be about this girl who hides behind a facade to act cool and stuff.
She meets this new guy who is a goody two shoes and smiles all the time.
She finds out this guys father is a clown, thinks its all a big joke and mocks him and stuff.
But, she is actually hurting inside because of her sisters mental defect caused by high fever.
They go through a series of events and bla bla bla.
She finds her sister getting more cheerful each time.
She is curious but at the same time getting happier herself.
Finds out that new guy and dad dresses up to cheer up kids at the hospital in their free time.

It would have had a kick ass finishing line.
But that will never happen because before i could save the story on microsoft word,
...
...
...
I KICKED THE POWER SUPPLY BELOW ME!!!

Now tell me, after all that.
Can you genuinely force a jubilant smile for the next coming days?